Oilers Are In The Finals! City Of Edmonton Erupts Leaving Thousands Dead!
The other night the Edmonton Oilers eliminated the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim in Game 5 of the NHL Western Conference Finals. This will be the Oilers first trip to the Stanley Cup Finals since 1990 when they last won Lord Stanley's Mug. The final minutes were tense but when the third period buzzer sounded it was over. The Oilers were going to the finals and the city of Edmonton erupted.
The current death toll is estimated at over 3,000. However, there are still several thousand hockey fans missing. Edmonton's mayor, Stephen Mandel, has released the following statement:
"This is a bittersweet day for the city of Edmonton. We've lost a lot of our fine citizens. But our beloved Oilers are in the Stanley Cup Finals. I guess this is what happens when the Oilers are doing well. I can only assume that the explosion was caused by the overwhelming enthusiasm of our fans."
Geologist Joan Matthews is completely baffled by the situation.
"I don't understand it. Apparently there's an enormous active volcano beneath the city of Edmonton. How did we not notice that before?"
Tragedy aside, Edmonton's hockey fans are very excited to see the Oilers in the finals for the first time in 16 years.
"I bleed blue and orange, man. The Oil are going all the way. WOO!" said one hockey enthusiast donning his vintage Andy Moog jersey.
However you look at it, this is a very interesting situation for the city of Edmonton. The Oilers are in the Finals. A massive eruption destroys most of the city and kills thousands of its citizens. Never before has so much excitement caused such carnage.
posted by Andrew @ 12:08 AM
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